The Fanny Pack

This in-person interview has been transcribed.

What: small black fanny pack with an Anvil logo on the front

Year acquired: 2007

Where it lives: hanging on a hook on the inside of the hall closet door

Anvil is a heavy metal band that existed in the 80s, and then disappeared for a long time. And then, in 2005 or so, there was a documentary made and they were sort of getting back together, and they went on tour. The documentary was really excellent and funny.

My girlfriend (at the time, now wife) got me and a buddy special access tickets where we got to have our photos taken with the guys in the band, and this fanny pack was part of the premium. The show was awesome, it was really good. It was at the House of Blues, [which was] totally not crowded which I thought was delightful. And [it was] a really, unbelievably good show.

So this is sort of a precious object and all that, but it’s also a terrible object, right? Because it’s a fanny pack, which is fundamentally a terrible thing. So, I’ve never worn it, I anticipate never wearing it. Never using it to carry anything. Although I have to admit that lately, and in general, the whole idea of utility belts is kinda fun, like little belt pouches… I don’t know [if] this is a Batman thing? A sort of D.I.Y tool belt thing…

Sorry, you think that Batman wears fanny packs?

No but he wore a utility belt. One of the main features of Batman is that he has this utility belt with all this cool stuff on it. So if you’re interested in utility belts, you have to be aware that utility belts are not very far distanced from fanny packs. So you have to be aware that you’re skating on the thinnest of ice.

What else was there in the V.I.P. pass?

We went to the show, photos with the guys, and there’s a t-shirt, I believe I have a t-shirt which is signed, so that’s pretty good too. I think that might be it.

One of the other things about this band is that, so the documentary is really good. It’s really sort of sweet and poignant, and funny. And it has to remind you of Spinal Tap. I still don’t really believe that Anvil was ever a real band, originally. I sort of feel like the whole thing is a contrivance. And what’s his name, [Christopher] Guest is just going to jump out from behind the curtains. No, I think they are a real band. But it has this sort of feeling that it might not be a real band.

What does the fanny pack represent to you?

I don’t think it represents anything. It’s the physical evidence of that whole story that I just told, which is partly my story, and partly the story of this band and their documentary and resurgence.

But you didn’t bring your anvil t-shirt in you brought a fanny pack in. what’s the difference?

I think the fanny pack is a funnier object. I think it’s a more delightful object. It’s like a rock t-shirt — I know that people love concert shirts, and I have, in my time, loved concert shirts. But to me a t-shirt is more ephemeral, less deeply precious.

What would you feel if you lost it?

I would feel sad, definitely. Devastated? No. In general, I don’t quite feel like I would be devastated to lose physical things. But I would be really sad. I mean I know it’s not one of a kind, but it’s probably a pretty scarce object.

I like that it makes you laugh.

That’s the thing is that this audio recording is good. And people will be able to see the photos. But sitting here with it on my lap I feel like it’s a funny object.

It also has many zippers. It seems pretty practical.

It does seem pretty practical. It’s too bad that wearing it would constitute a pretty serious fashion crime.