Nana Bear

This in-person interview has been transcribed.

What: Nana bear / bear. A teddy bear

Age when acquired: 22

Care instructions: hand wash and air dry

This is a teddy bear. When I was in the hospital five years ago, I was in the psych ward for five nights. And before that I was in the basement for an in-patient thing. My parents [asked me] “What do you want?” And I asked for a teddy bear. Which is kind of funny because I was always a blanky person, I wasn’t really a teddy bear person.

I was still kind of manic when they gave it to me. So I was gushing. ike, when you’re manic you’re just like grossly positive. You think you’re Jesus or whatever.

I was like, “Oh my God! This bear is so perfect!” But he is kind of perfect.

Can you describe what he looks like?

He’s probably a foot and a half tall. He’s white brown, with a white belly and white palms. And he has four toes that are kind of velvety. And he has a snout that’s white, with a nose that looks like it’s brown threaded. And he has black beady eyes. Just pure black, they have nothing in them. And he has two bear ears and they’re white inside. And he has a little tail which is a cute little ball. It still has the tag on it.

Is there a name?

When I got the bear I called him Nana Bear. Kind of like the dog from Peter Pan. Also it was my grandma’s name, Nana. But I just call him Bear. And I kind of mix between genders.

What does Nana represent to you?

I feel like it’s… safety. I live alone now, and life sucks and I get scared sometimes. I hug this bear and I feel… I feel like I put love in it, and so I get it back. I feel less alone. This bear is anti-loneliness.

I went on vacation for a week and didn’t bring him. But then I bought a teddy bear, I bought a lion. I keep him in my living room, that’s my living room stuffed animal. If guests need it.

What would you feel if you lost it?

I would be sad. But I would try to find another one like her.

I am deeply attached to this stuffed animal but… things get lost. I had my grandmother’s wedding ring and I lost that. What are you gonna do. I would survive